Motherhood is the perfect time to re-evaluate everything
There are days that I am astounded with how much I did and how little I prioritized myself.
Keeping it up will only lead me towards burnout and opting out of anything meaningful.
What would it look like to redirect all of your energy into more meaningful pursuits? Instead of conquering your to-do lists and making sure you have checked the box off on all of your personal, professional, and relational obligations - let's pause.
Pause and rethink.
Western society forces us to prioritize our vocation as a means of identity. Some of that vocational identity can easily come under threat after motherhood hits, when you may think about reducing your hours or leaving your job altogether.
One of the problems with this whole identity concept is that it pigeon holes us into picking specific paths in an all or nothing light.
Why can't we be more profession agnostic?
Instead of having to be this or that, why can't we just do things we love? I have been trying to learn to let go of my ego driven desire to have a specific identity. I want to focus on the activities and things that bring me enjoyment.
After taming your ego and obsession to have an all encompassing identity, ponder this: do you want to be happy or do you want to have meaning?
Emily Smith in The Power of Meaning argues that a meaningful life is more fulfilling than having a happy one. The components of this kind of life are a sense of belonging, purpose or contribution, storytelling where you make sense of your life experiences, and transcendental moments.
I think motherhood with all of its responsibilities does offer a path that is very fulfilling. I am not going to minimize how difficult and unfair it can be given current cultural expectations of intense mothering, but on the flip side it is undeniably rewarding.
On top of that, I think there is more room for enjoyment. What could that look like for you? The baseline of you already having a lot of meaning combined with additional enjoyment is a combination that is more powerful than trying to grasp at happiness.
There is the conscious world you live in and then the experience of your subconscious that you are not fully aware of. For simplicity sake, I will just term this as consciousness.
Allowing yourself to be more mindful and tap into the current state of your body and emotions is powerful and has wide ranging benefits.
The importance of letting thoughts and feelings go, and drift past you, is important in unleashing your consciousness. Michael Singer in The Untethered Soul argues that this is a source of unbound energy.
He argues that this is neither intangible or magical. It's a real source of energy that many of us never tap into and that we are programmed to block it.
You have a full life. The benefits of rethinking what you have and want, as well as getting attuned into your body and emotions, could lead you further into a fear-free life.